im pretty sure im done with xanga it was fun for awhile but im bored with telling stories  to myself. and the shit they feature really sux..to me.unoriginal. but i guess conformity is popular and originality is supposedly applauded but not really at all. not here. people say they are original but really its all the same bullshit.fuck it! fuck all u with with fake ass lame ass  opinions about shit that doesnt even matter unless u are a conformist which 96% of xanga is.

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well it took awhile to get time to finish i dont even care anymore.i been busy moving. moving sux asshole
especially when u hav a shitload of shit. and shit is exactly what it is.but for some strange reason i want to keep it. i hav got rid of so many things. and alot of my bf's bachelor things. he wanted to keep some disgusting things. im like no way i want nice things in my house dude! and i read lovelyish's blog about girls liking musicians...they had poor choices. anyways i after i read it i had to check out my fav on youtube. i dont kno his name but he is the singer in muse.
anyways part 3--i was pregnant so i signed up for welfare. alot of people loook down on me.including my man's dad and his wife. she said so not 2 hrs after i had delivered my son. i was gonna tell the whole story but i dont care anymore about writing. i havent had anytime

i am a welfare recipient. i say this with neither pride nor shame.
my pregnancy came as no surprise but plenty of fear and uncertainty. i was in denial for some time and with shame i admit this....i partied until my 3rd month. you see i knew in my heart i was pregnant the very week pharoh was conceived. i could feel another little heart beating with my own heart. i selfishly threw this knowledge aside telling myself unconvincingly that i was not pregnant and life should move along as usual. waves of guilt would consume me when i got too high or drunk. i shoved this as far back into my body, mind, heart and soul as i possibly could, which was barely past the skin. i remember a couple times being geeked outta my mind laying on my bed holding my belly with tears streaming down my cheeks whispering to my son's father that i had his baby in me. he would just stare at me and say "well have u had ur period?" i told him my periods have never been normal and a few times i went 6 months without bleeding. then in the morning i would say light heartedly " i freak out about the most unusual things...god im such a spaz!" and he would stare at me with a unsure look behind his caring eyes and say"u kno jenn if u are carrying my child ur done drinking and getting high" i looked away to hide my selfish eyes and said "no no i am not pregnant there is no need to quit.
Then my baby became so clear that i could no longer ignore him. his heart beat was getting stronger, so strong even my unconvincing lies to myself disappeared and the reality that this was happening encompassed everything that i knew. I could no longer drink alcohol becasue after 2 beers i would feel sick and if i drank a 3rd i was vomiting.My emotions were everywhere...for instance...long story short....thanksgiving...i wanted to spend with my family and he wanted to spend it with his family. his mom was sick so she asked him to take his sister and two brothers over to his grandfathers family get together.he asked me to go and i said i didnt want to and i wanted to be with my family. he said fine and that he would be gone only 2 hrs. some drama ended up happening and it took longer. i cried for 7 hours straight no exaggeration.  Yet i still hadnt taken a pregnancy test.that is until one night and my boyfriend was horny and he started licking and nibbling my nipples and it hurt so bad i had to make him stop immediatly. my breasts were so freaking sore.

i guess this is part 1 i cant finish now i am fakk==llomg asleep